Music that has impacted my life, Vol 2

     For my second foray into the music that has impacted me, will be a group that I frequently mention on Facebook.  Like…at least once a week or so. They are vulgar. They are irreverent. They are Gwar.

     I first got into Gwar in 1993. I was stationed in Virginia Beach at the time, not that far from where they are from, Richmond Virginia. I forget how I heard about them, but remember that they put on some brutal live shows, and people constantly got hurt (more on that later).  I went to the mall located near the Oceana Naval Air Station one time, and was looking for something new to buy.  I came across their only EP released the previous year, The Road Behind.  I liked it.  Then, I got the full length album where the song The Road Behind was from, America Must be Destroyed.

     Just….wow.

     First off, everything that Gwar says? Yeah, take it with a MASSIVE grain of salt. 

     Here’s their “mythos”:

GWAR's story begins at the beginning of time when the Master, a giant planet sized mass of flesh, shat out the entire universe. After viewing his creation, he decided it needed wiping. Thus, the Master created the Scumdogs of the Universe, an army of intergalactic pirates, warriors, and psychopaths who pledged allegiance to him, GWAR amongst them. Along with the Master's most loyal servant, Techno Destructo, GWAR and the Scumdogs of the Universe waged chaos across the universe, but GWAR invoked the Master's ire by blowing up the wrong planet (Flarv Quarv 7, rather than Flarv Quarv 6 as they were instructed).

GWAR was immediately defeated by the Master in combat and exiled to the backwards mud-ball planet Earth for eternity. But even in exile, the members of GWAR still managed to enjoy themselves- they invented rock music by stretching dinosaur guts across the grand canyon, killed the dinosaurs, and accidentally created humanity after raping a bunch of gorillas. From there, they would go about wrecking human civilizations until the Master found out about their activities on Earth, and so, he froze them in ice and locked them away in a temple in Antarctica.

Thousands of years later in 1984, music mogul Sleazy P. Martini stumbled upon their hidden temple after fleeing from the U.S. for drug trafficking and crashing his helicoptor in the Antarctic. A combination of global warming and sunlight reflecting off his gold chains melted GWAR's icy prison. They attempt to kill Sleazy, but he quickly wins their favor by hooking them on crack and convincing them to let him be their new band manager. Shortly after this, they discovered the band Death Piggy and convinced the band members to join them as their personal slaves and/or butt-boys, and decided to continue this tradition, while at the same time kidnapping and mutating other humans to become their slaves and minions.

They would then go on to become one of the most renowned rock bands ever, and would attempt to either escape, conquer, or destroy the earth multiple times, facing deadly enemies such as Techno Destructo, the Devil, Dr. Skulhedface, Cardinal Syn, and many others.

(https://villains.fandom.com/wiki/GWAR)

     Ok, back to America Must be Destroyed.  There is so much suggestive, and…to be honest…flagrant…topics of sex, sex organs, and violence in that album, it’s not funny.  Well…ok, the way they present it is.  If you have a dark sense of humor.  I must admit that I was a little put off by some of the subject matter at first. But then I started really looking at the lyrics and realized…yeah, this is totally fake and over the top.

     I think I have two favorite songs on this album, although they are ALL good.  First is The Morality Squad.  This song takes an over-the-top look at certain groups like PMRC (Parent’s Music Resource Center) that want to put limits on artistic expression on music groups like Gwar, 2 Live Crew, Judas Priest, etc. With lyrics like “Freedom for all the people, brave, true and strong.  Freedom for all the people, unless I think you’re wrong”, and “Gwar, you’re the worst, I’ll put an end to you.  You’re even grosser than 2 Live Crew”, it’s kind of obvious.  There’s even a “commercial” for a fight-to-the-death match between Granbo (the leader) and her Morality Squad vs Gwar, and it sounds like one of those radio commercials that you’d hear on the radio for a Monster Truck event.

     My second favorite song is the title track, “America Must be Destroyed”.  This song actually has no lyrics, but vocal samples from different movies and musicians, and included something from the Challenger disaster.  I know of the Challenger sample taken from NASA footage, Dr. Strangelove, and stuff from The Last Poets “White Man’s Got a God Complex”.  There are others, but I couldn’t find out what they are.  The song starts out with a syncopated rhythm then fades into a driving, yet simple, rhythm that almost immediately gets my head bobbing. 

     Fast forward more than a decade, and Gwar releases Beyond Hell.  To be honest, I hadn’t followed Gwar at all after America.  It was basically an accident that I re-discovered them.  I was thumbing through a free weekly newspaper (mostly ads, a horoscope, some local things like art galleries, and…concerts) in Columbus, Ohio (my home since 2000).  I saw an ad that Gwar was coming with Cradle of Filth (!!!!) (they get their own post later), both had released new albums, come see them, yada yada.  I thought to myself: ”You know….tickets are only $20. It’s not a work night. When will I have a chance to see them again? And two bands.”  So, I convinced…er…begged…my wife to let me go.  I got the newest album, Beyond Hell, and listened to it so I wouldn’t be too lost. 

     Basically, Beyond Hell is a concept album where the entire thing is a story, and each song is a piece of that story.  The military decides to attack the Gwar fortress in Antarctica.  Gwar fights back, the fortress was destroyed, and Gwar flees into the UnderEarth below the fortress.  They go down so far that they emerge in Hell, fight all the big-wigs including Satan himself.  They defeat Him (well, duh), and find their way back up to their fortress, only to find that almost no time had passed.  Their manager sent over a nine-ton crack boulder, they smoke it, and things are fine once more (see mythos above for crack issue).

     I was only familiar with a few of Gwar’s songs… and most of the ones played at the concert…yeah. I didn’t know.  But it was a GREAT show.  No, I didn’t get in the mosh pit that time. Since then, I’ve seen them three other times, and have been in the mosh pit for all of those.  Gwar has the roughest, rowdiest mosh pit I’ve been in. If you lose your mind and decide to go see them, definitely stretch first. I didn’t one time, and my knees were so sore the next day. Be warned, however.  They “kill” people on stage.  Politicians. Musicians. Celebrities.  And in really graphic, yet hysterical ways.  Don’t worry, it’s all foam rubber, latex, and a water-based fake blood.  That blood…they shoot out into the crowd during some songs via various ways: “decapitation”, dismemberment, etc. Gwar fans that have been to several shows wear white t-shirts to see how “bloody” they can get themselves. Unfortunately, even after baking in the dryer to set the colors in, they still came clean in the wash. Dangit.

     The songs on Beyond Hell are great.  I don’t think there’s a single one that I don’t enjoy.  The story itself is intriguing, the lyrics are properly descriptive, and the story comes to a predictable yet satisfying close. 

     I think my favorite song on this album is “War Is All We Know”.  It has a fast driving tempo, and lyrics that describe a Gwar battle rather well, including some well written descriptives.  This song is the beginning of the Beyond Hell story, where armies are attacking the Gwar fortress in Antarctica, and Gwar is getting their butts handed to them.  There are some intriguing tempo changes both at the begging and later towards the end of the song. I can only describe it as kind of like a machine slowly starting then getting up to speed.  Bum….bum….bum bum bum bumbumbum.  The song slows down for a bit in the middle, but it really fits.

     Gwar also did a cover of Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out” on this album.  To be honest, I’m not sure which version is better.  Cooper’s original version is just fantastic, and I can’t think of anyone doing it justice.  However, the spin that Gwar put on it really makes it their own.  You can find the video of that song here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PexuypIX8uU

     After Beyond Hell, I dusted off the one other album of theirs I had, and started collecting them again.  Some of their stuff between America and Beyond Hell wasn’t that great. They were experimenting with their sound.  They finally got back to a pure metal sound with “Violence Has Arrived” in 2001.

     Gwar’s music is loud, violent, and sometimes disturbing, yet darkly humorous.  There is some real musical talent in the song writing, though.  A warped sense of humor helps.

Music that has impacted my life, Vol 1

Before I get into the meat of my first “music that has impacted me” series (currently sitting at 30 albums), I’ll give a taste of my musical history.

I’ve always loved music. Always.  I remember listening to music on A.M. radio (back when A.M. HAD music) in mom and dad’s car, and in the mornings - getting ready for school - on the little transistor radio mom had in the kitchen.  The music was populated by John Denver, Barry Manilow, The Carpenters, etc.  Easy listening stuff.  In the spring and summer, during “clean up” days, mom would have the record player going with Herb Alpert, John Denver, and others that I can’t remember.

Come 4^th grade, I was able to choose an instrument to play if I wanted.  I chose violin.  I did that for a year, then in 5^th grade I moved up to upright bass.  I was one of a few members from my school that went to ANOTHER school for practice before school started, and that little orchestra did a few “tours” of the schools in the district.

In junior high I was a member of the orchestra, joined the Seattle Youth Symphony Orchestra organization, starting with the youngest group, the Little Symphony.  The music there was good, semi-popular classical music, but arranged down a few levels for the young musicians just really starting out.  Following year, I moved up to the Junior symphony where the music was a bit more advanced.  But, as I was the only bass player, I still played with the Little. Finally, in 9^th grade, I moved up to the actual Youth symphony.  This group was for the “kids” up to age 21 (I think), and played full, unedited symphonies by the greats: Mozart, Beethoven, Sibelius, etc.

In 11^th grade, I also picked up the bass guitar to play with the high school jazz band, and still played with the Seattle Youth Symphonies, in addition to a couple more local groups.  That year was my busiest one, musically: Little Symphony, Junior Symphony, Youth Symphony, high school orchestra, high school jazz band, an operetta company, Redmond Chamber orchestra, another group that played Beethoven’s 9^th (complete with large choral group), and a trio that was a spin-off of the chamber orchestra that played a few gigs here and there.

Starting in about 7^th grade, I started getting away from my parent’s type of music, and developing my own taste.  The first tape I ever bought was Bryan Adams’ Reckless, followed by Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA.  I started listening to a rock station at night, before switching it to a classical one to fall asleep. Typical 80s rock: Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Kiss, etc.

I bought a few more rock tapes over the years: Guns n Roses (more on them in a later episode), Bon Jovi, etc.

But I still think the most memorable one, and first real “metal” music I bought, was in 1989.  Iron Maiden’s Powerslave album.

I had just watched Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and the lines: “Put them in the iron maiden.”
“Iron maiden?! Excellent!” stuck with me for some reason.  I thought to myself: “hey…that’s a metal group, right? If they like it, maybe I will too.” (That was my reasoning at the time. Hey, I was young and stupid then, shaddup.)

So, I went to a Fred Meyer (dad had to stop by there to get something, I just went to the music section), looked under “I”, and found the only one they had by Iron Maiden: Powerslave.  I remember being excited about it because of the skull on the front (Eddy), and getting a “real metal” album.  Man, was I NOT disappointed. From the first chord of Aces High, to the final strains of Rime of the Ancient Mariner, I was absolutely hooked.

There are two “must hear” tracks from this album: Powerslave, and Rime of the Ancient Mariner.  The first, Powerslave, tells the story of a pharaoh, who is apparently about to die, and is ruminating on what is to come after he passes. The song starts out with a heartbeat with an accompanying “uh-uh”, then a wolf-type (maybe jackal, considering the setting?) howl screams out, dissolving into a rather menacing laughter, then dissolving into the opening chords.
The entire song is just awesome, but I think the best part is the second guitar solo that hits at about the 4:40 mark. It starts off really growly that just grabs me, then the driving rhythm of bass, drums, and the other guitar makes this song simply addictive.

The second song on this album that is a must-hear is “Rime of the Ancient Mariner”, and is loosely based on the Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem of the same name.  Again, from the opening chords, this song just hooks me. Part of it may be the length: clocking in at 13:41, it is the second longest Maiden song (the first is over 18 minutes).  Another part that I love about this song is the inclusion of lines from the actual poem in two separate instances.
It tells the story of a mariner (sailor) on a ship sailing south, to the Antarctic region, apparently. On the voyage, however, he kills an albatross…which is a “bird of good omen”, which starts a curse.  Everyone on the ship dies except him, and the ship just sits there unable to move due to no wind.  After who knows how long, he finally prays for all the animals including sea creatures, and the wind and rain come and take the boat home.  The curse is lifted as the ship gets close to his homeland. A hermit (I’m reading country-dwelling priest, here) hears the mariner’s confession, and has him tell his tale wherever he goes.

This song has three distinct parts: beginning, where the ship is sailing south and the mariner kills the albatross. Middle, where “Death and she, Life In Death” roll dice for the crew of the ship. She wins the mariner, Death wins the rest. This is a slower section where not much is going on, just like when the ship is unable to sail “with no wind in her sails and no tide”. It includes some creaking, as would be heard on a wooden ship.  Finally, the third section is after the mariner prays for the sea creatures and the curse is lifted.

A couple interesting things here: the artist that drew the album cover put in a few easter eggs.  See the pictures below.

First one has "Indiana Jones was here 1941" and a Mickey Mouse head.  The second was a Kilroy picture with "Wot? No Guiness?"