Bah! Humbug! Just kidding!

I'll be the first to admit that my sense of humor is a bit off-kilter from what most here in the U. S. would consider "normal".  For example, I'll usually cheer for the mad serial killer in the movies (Jason Voorhees, Freddy Kruger, etc), How the Grinch Stole Christmas (with Jim Carrey) makes me laugh out loud, and I love British comedy.
Now that I've said that, you'll understand why Christmas is one of my favorite times of year.  It has some of THE BEST twisted music!  Not only Dr. Demento, but Bob Rivers has put out several CDs.
I also came across the following piece when I was more into Warhammer 40,000...it was on the bulletin board that Games Workshop had at that time.  I make no claims to ownership or authorship, but I'm posting it here for everyone's entertainment.
If you want some clarification or definitions, take a look at my posting on 9/11 for more info of the Warhammer 40,000 setting.
Enjoy!

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Begin Transmission
Repetition of General Directive 264-A-XCIV
To: Distribution, Sectorium Primus
From: Office of The Grand Inquisitor, Ebineezar Grinchanius
Re: Yearly Chaos Incursion
This purpose of this notice is to remind the forgetful of the annual visitation by the minion of Chaos known to the unworthy as Santa Claus.
+++ The Emperor's Light Banishes the Shadows of Heresy +++
As the diligent will recall, the incursion occurs regularly every 8742 to 8766 terran hours, roughly corresponding to a terran year. This trespass has occurred with disturbing regularity since at least the Horus Heresy, and perhaps longer, as many records were misplaced.
+++ Love and Obey the Emperor +++
The faithful will recognize the target on sight, as his garb and gear mark him immediately as an agent of the abominations.
Santa Claus is a corpulent, bloated creature approximating the human form. It wears a crimson tunic the color of fresh blood, marking him as a possible follower of Khorne. It is bearded, mocking the honorable Squats, and its hair is a sallow shade of gray, betraying its unnatural age. Be advised that despite the creatures fearsome name, no claws have been observed, and the former is likely a ruse.
The target has been observed in the company of smaller creatures having the appearance of thin (less than 30 kg, approx.), stunted (1.5 meters) humanoids with pointed ears. Their appearance suggests the involvement of the decadent Eldar, and although that race denies involvement (*reference the Rudolphian Campaign [index 4111-BGE-MMXCII-Primus], specifically the Battle of Yukon Cornelius IV [ibid., index 6]*), agents are advised to be prepared for their involvement, as the Eldar are known for their deceitful ways.
Santa Claus is conveyed by means of a grav-sled powered by unnatural livestock as detailed below.
The target's vehicle is a grav-sled. It has superfluous runners which are used only on landing and take-off. Despite the appearance, no frozen water is necessary for its operation (another ruse). The vehicle's resemblance to the foul Palanquin of Nurgle should not be discounted, even though the colors continue to be reminiscent of Khorne.
The device is powered by the unholy ministrations of eight or nine quadrupeds. Ordo Malleus scholars have identified these creatures as warped versions of an extinct species of terran mammal known as a Moose (reference 900002-ER-CIV). These beings single-mindedly pull the target's vehicle during its yearly invasion. They are outfitted with belled harnesses which are apparently imbued with the ability of flight. These beasts have been likened to the Fiends of Slaanesh, and such a comparison should not be dismissed too lightly, as the creatures shed a luminous substance as effluent as they move. Inquisitors should take care to avoid exposure.
Perhaps more disturbing is the variable number of the minion-creatures. On occasion, a ninth Moose has been observed, placed before the other Mooses. This creature radiates a sickly reddish glow from its snout, as a psychic beacon to other followers of the Vile Ones. This Chaotic device has allowed the target to navigate despite our best efforts to jam its navigation systems.
+++ Blessed is the Virtue of Blind Faith +++
Santa Claus gains entry to the domiciles of loyal Imperial Citizens (see below) and leaves small Chaos Rewards to tempt the faithful.
Inquisitors are reminded to confiscate and incinerate these items before any lasting damage is done. As a localized temporal distortion field is in effect around the target, these items are secreted in the habitations of the Imperium at exactly 2400 hours in every location defiled by the creature. It is therefore possible to gain entry to the citizens' cretches and remove the items (often cunningly hidden in footwear) before the citizens are aware of the heresy that has been committed upon them.
In other cases, removal of the items after the citizens have discovered them is possible. In such situations, small children are occasionally loath to surrender the items, as the tainting of the juveniles has already begun. Executions of the above are to be handled in the most expedient manner possible.
Often, juveniles that are well within the Emperor's Grace are given small blocks of graphite ore rather than the more tempting gifts visited upon the less faithful. The identity of these individuals are to be recorded, as future recruitment into the Inquisition or Adeptus Terra is possible. [Note: Inquisitors or other agents who do *not* receive the graphite stones should be watched carefully]
Santa Claus enters the domiciles be way of heating ducts and waste vents. The size of the opening is not a factor, as the creature can adjust its mass and displacement by means of psychic manipulation. Mining these openings with frag, krak and other demolitions has proven unsuccessful.
The creature egresses by the same means, after ritually caressing his nostrils. No mucus has ever been recovered.
+++ The Death of Emperor's Enemies is the Only Gift We Can Give +++
Although all previous attempts at the destruction of Santa Claus have failed, Inquisitors are urged to make such an attempt whenever possible.
However, of more importance is the suppression of cultist activity associated with the yearly incursion. The Tainted have been known to erect shrines in their homes in the form of shrubbery adorned with baubles and lights [Note: the shrubbery is often highly flammable, and offers a discrete method of executing the offending heretics without calling undue attention to the operation]. Other warning signs include: hallucinations involving sugared candies during slumber; excessive singing; references to 'A magical time of year' (note the influence of Tzeentch); the construction of effigies made of snow; and the performance of Slaanesh rituals while underneath plant clippings of the genus _phoradendron flavescens_.
Once again, executions should be handled in an expedient manner.
End Transmission
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End.

fired from work

Greetings all!  I was fired from work at the end of October, and I've had a hard time coming up with things to write about, since most of my reading, music listening, and movie watching took place there (while on breaks only).  The baby has been taking up almost all my time, which I have no problem with, really.  I'm almost done with a book though, and have watched a few movies with the kid, so look for a new posting in a few days while I get my thoughts together.

Concert review: Gwar

Yeah, I went to see Gwar last week.  My hearing is finally back to normal.  Mostly.  Gwar's new album, Bloody Pit of Horror, doesn't come out until November 9th...but that doesn't stop them from touring to promote it.  This is the second year of their 25th Anniversary, and it was well worth the cash for the ticket.
The first band, Mobile Deathcamp, is a band from Toledo here in Ohio.  For a three person band, they have a very full sound, awesome lyrics (from what I could understand), and great guitar riffs.  Of course, the lead guitarist used to be the bassist for Gwar (Beefcake the Mighty), so there's great talent there.  They opened for Gwar last time they toured, and will hopefully headline sometime soon.
The second band, Infernaeon from Florida, was everything a death metal band can be: shredding riffs, pounding bass, and growling vocals.  They were very good, and I hope to see them again next time they come through.  They're a five piece band, and they were rather cramped on the small Newport stage, but they did great with such a small space.
The third band, The Casualties, would seem to be the odd-group out.  Hailing from New York City, they are a punk band, complete with spikey hair.  At first, I wasn't that impressed with them, but they really grew on me.  I don't really know how to describe it, other than punk.  Again, this is a band I'm really wanting to see again.
Now we get to the headliner: Gwar.  This band, if you haven't heard of them, is all about politically incorrectness.  They don't care who they offend, anything is open.  For a complete "history" of the band, you can go here: http://www.gwar.net/mythos .  They have characters come out on stage, and everyone is done up in latex and rubber costumes, including the band.  The concert I attended started out simple enough.  They're promoting the new album, Bloody Pit of Horror with the first single, "Zombies, March".  Keeping that in mind, you'll understand why when the lights went out in the Newport Concert Hall, the song "Thriller" by Michael Jackson started playing.  Two zombies came out on stage, followed shortly by the band. 
Now, I should mention at this point that any characters, and occasionally the lead singer, come on stage trailing hoses.  When a character is "killed", "blood" squirts from the neck or body.  This is a water soluable solution tinged either red or green, depending on who/what gets "killed". 
Ok, back to the concert.  Oderus Urungus, the lead singer, came out with his sword and "decapitated" the zombies, thus starting the actual concert.  Also "killed" was Sarah Palin, and Lady Ga-Ga (Oderus called her Lady Gay-Ga), and a recurring character, Bonesnapper the troll (he had the green blood).
The last Gwar concert I went to, I went in the mosh pit for about 3 minutes, and got hit in the face, resulting in a bloody nose.  This time, I must confess, I was in the pit from the very beginning.  I got hit with the "blood" spray from everything that was "killed", and the "blood" cannon.  Most true fans wear white t-shirts, and show off the "bloody" shirt with pride.  However, I learned from my mistake last year: even though I dried it first, it still came clean in the wash.  This time, I don't think I'm gonna wash it.  I'm gonna keep it for next time.
To be in a Gwar mosh pit is to literally court injury.  So many people are bunched up together, pushing around so the entire mob sways from side to side and front to back in massive waves.  It's hot, humid, and VERY VERY close.  So close that, if people were naked, it would be considered...kinky.  THAT close.  However, Gwar fans are some of the best sports around, and go out of their way to help people back up if someone falls down.  And Gwar is definately NOT just for guys, there were plenty of women there, including a lady that was about 50 years old attending her first Gwar show.
Needless to say, I've had my adrenalin/death-thrill for a while.  At least until next year.

Musical tastes

I have been asked many times "How can you listen to that crap?" (my wife).  I've been told "Let me know when you start listening to 'music' " (thanks, dad).  A lot of people wonder how/why I can listen to such beautiful pieces of music like Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, Ave Maria, and Mozart's Requiem...and within a minute switch to a group like Slipknot, Gwar, or Slayer.  Well, I'll tell you.
Firstly, for the most part, when it comes to heavy metal music, one of the last things I do is listen to lyrics.  I just don't care what the singer is saying.  The first thing I listen for is how the group's instruments, as a whole, sound.  The interplay of guitars, bass, drums, and whatever else the group has.  If I don't like the instrumentation of the group, it doesn't matter if the lyrics are some of the best poetry or imagery ever written, I just turn it off.
Second, I listen to how the singer sounds with the group.  If he/she sounds stupid or cheesy, I turn it off.  There's a CD I have by a group called Warhammer.  The singer sounds like Rolf the Dog from the Muppet Show.  The instrumentation of the group is great, but I have trouble with the singer: I just can't wrap my head around Rolf headbanging to songs like Crush the Disbeliever, and Necrophobia.
Lastly, I check out the lyrics.  If the instrumentation is good, and the singer is good, the lyrics just follow.  I'll enjoy reading the lyrics if I like the music.


Now then.  Classical music.  This is something really difficult for someone to describe "how" or "why" he or she likes it.  Classical music seems to be just one of those things that you either like....or don't.  There's no real in-between point.  I grew up with classical music, and enjoy relaxing to it.  There are times when I'll listen to the Amadeus soundtrack for a week or more at a time, and nothing else.  I know and realize that some people make fun of those of us that like classical music.  To them I say: without the innovations done by the pioneers of music like Bach, Mozart, and Handel, your favorite music group today simply would not exist in their current form.

General Stuff

Comments are always welcome, as are questions.  I will also take recommendations for my next book or music review.  If I have it in my collection, I'll read it or listen to it.