General Stuff

Comments are always welcome, as are questions.  I will also take recommendations for my next book or music review.  If I have it in my collection, I'll read it or listen to it.

Book Review: Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Imperium

In a setting as drenched in blood as the Warhammer 40k setting is, you don’t expect a lot of humor.  Then you realize that the company is based out of the same country that brought out Monty Python and Benny Hill, and you might say something like “ah, that explains it”. 

Ciaphas Cain: Hero of the Imperium is not just one book, but an omnibus of the first three novels featuring the reluctant hero.  It also has three short stories before each full novel that gives a hint of what’s in-store in that next book.  It should be noted here that all of the stories are told in the first person (I went here, I did this, etc), with some additional notes by the Inquisitor that Cain meets in “For the Emperor”.

In the Warhammer 40k setting, commissars are strict disciplinarians.  They lead from the front, showing no fear, and executing any that show cowardice or don’t do what they’re ordered to.  They worship the Emperor and hold Him more dear than their own lives.  Therefore, when a novel came out that shows one particular commissar in a rather dubious light, I really sat up and took notice.

The short story “Fight or Flight” gives us a quick introduction to Commissar Cain as the newly appointed officer to the Valhallan 12^th Field Artillery, fresh out of commissar school, as they finish wiping out some orks, and then are suddenly surprised by tyranids.  The bugs attack, and we are given insight into Cain as he tries (unsuccessfully) to flee.  However, we also see how he manages to turn the situation around, as it would appear he puts his own life on the line to save Jurgan, a likeable person steadfast in his duty to the Emperor, but whose personal issues (which are detailed with evident relish) eventually cause him to be assigned to Cain as his aide.

“For the Emperor” takes place years later, when Cain is assigned to a new Valhallan Infantry division.  And Division is a rather apt name.  After facing hideous losses on Corania, the Valhallan 296^th and 301^st were amalgamated into one, but were now called the Valhallan 296/301.  Needless to say, this causes a bit of friction, especially when you consider that the 301 is an all female unit, and the 296 is an all male unit.  Shortly after Cain’s arrival to the transport ship, there is a rather large and brutal melee in the mess hall, and after all is said and done, the 597^th is formed (296 plus 301). 

The new division’s first assignment is to a planet called Gravalax, where the reader is introduced to the race known as tau.  I can’t/won’t go into much more, as it would spoil a good bit of the surprise towards the end, but we do find something out about Jurgen, his aide.

As I previously stated, the majority of the authors are British, and Sandy Mitchell (really Alex Stewart) is no exception, with the characteristic dry humor.  One of the funniest descriptions in this first book is when he’s talking about the marching band: “…and the band thumping and parping away at If I Should Forget Thee, O Terra as though they had a grudge against the composer.”

A little bit later, Cain and a friend had been drinking the local liquor.  “...and I glanced around while Divas communed loudly with the Emperor in a convenient gutter.”

In “Echoes of the Tomb”, the second short story, Cain (and the reader) is given his first introduction to the necrons, and takes place before his stint with the Valhallan 597^th.    Soulless beings of metal, these creatures can reform and repair themselves much like the liquid metal Terminator from the movie “Judgment Day”.  It also shows the single-mindedness of the tech-priests.  Devotees of the Martian technological equivalent of the Emperor, most tech-priests willingly undergo augmentic surgery to replace their ‘meat parts’ with metal equivalents.  This also is a foreshadowing for the second novel in the omnibus, “Caves of Ice”.

Fresh off of the deployment to Gravalax, the Valhallan 597^th is sent to the ice world of Simia Orichalcae.  As you can imagine, an infantry regiment going to an ice world is rather a cause for celebration amongst the troops, a fact that is shown when Cain is forced a couple of times to break up snowball fights.

This deployment is about defending a promethium refinery from rampaging orks.  Promethium is the fuel that drives the Imperium…literally.  Infact, one of the edits that Inquisitor Vail provides is an informational pamphlet for the newcomer about the wonders of promethium.  Inquisitor Vail also provides a transcript of one of the meetings, which shows still more of the dry British humor:  “Colonel Kasteen called the meeting to order.  Then she called it to order again.  Major Brocklaw fired his bolt pistol into the ceiling, and the meeting came to order.”

As the orks are advancing from halfway across the planet, it is revealed that several miners have gone missing.  Cain suspects that the orks might have found another way in and decides it’s vitally important to investigate the mines (not really, this is just his way of avoiding a sure fight on the surface).  In the deep mines, they discover that this is also a necron tomb-world, and the need to seal the mines from the deep menace is paramount.

The third and final short story, “The Beguiling”, is Cain’s first introduction to the forces and followers of Chaos, especially Slaanesh, the Prince of Pleasure.  To a true follower of Slaanesh, any sensation is the epitome of pleasure.  A noise, a smell, someone cutting off your hand…all is ecstatic, almost orgasmic pleasure.  Again, this short story features Cain and his aide Jurgan, who by now you all now has a special talent.

In “The Traitor’s Hand”, the forces of Chaos have been making raids through a couple planetary systems and for some reason, unknown at this time, the warp currents in the area are all heading in one direction.  Taking place on a planet that has no rotation, Adumbria Prime, the Valhallans are given the defense of the “cold side”, while a regiment from Tallarn, a desert world, are given the defense of the “hot side”.  From the opening pages of the novel, it’s obvious there’s no love lost between these two regiments, and it carries over a bit to the Lord General in charge of this operation.  In fact, later in the book, the Lord General Zyvan tells the Tallarn colonel off a bit, and this is the descriptive of the after-effects: “The implied rebuke to Asmar was about as subtle as an ork breaking wind, and the Tallarn colonel’s face coloured slightly.”  Gotta love that British humor.

At one point, Cain was riding in an elevator, and the way it’s described made me laugh out loud: “After about thirty seconds of tedium, made even worse by a scratchy recording of Death to the Deviant apparently performed by tone-deaf ratlings with nose flutes…”

Chaos being…well…chaotic, there’s no apparent rhyme or reason to the attacks as the invading forces arrive.  It’s only after much investigation and some hindsight that Cain is able to pick up on what the goals are in this invasion: I can’t tell you…haha!  That would spoil it.  However, I will say that someone that Cain met in “The Beguiling” makes another, slightly different, appearance.

All in all, this is a huge book, but well worth the price and the time it takes to read it.  The “editorial notes” by the Inquisitor put give a decent description to a reader unfamiliar with the setting, as do the novels themselves.  In fact, I’d say that this would be a great book for the beginning Warhammer 40k reader, as it gives good descriptions of pretty much anything, including the equipment used by the Imperial Guard.  And, as a bonus, it’s nowhere near as bloody as the majority of the other books in the setting.

The Commissar Cain books have been a favorite of mine for some time now, and I’m glad I went through the omnibus again for this review. 

My rating: 9 feathers out of 10.

pre-review blog. Warhammer 40,000 setting and terminology

    Before I jump into my first book review, there is some terminology that is frequently used in the Warhammer 40,000 (or 40k) setting.  So frequently, in fact, that most of what's listed below is used in just about every single novel.  Therefore, not only have I compiled a list of terms and their definitions that a reader will run into and, if new to the setting often have questions about the first few times they are used, I have also summarized the setting for the new reader.
     After conquering much of the galaxy, Warp storms prevented humanity from leaving Terra for thousands of years, leaving the rest of the galaxy to devolve or be conquered by the many alien races.  Ten thousand years before this present day, the being now known only as the Emperor used his own flesh to genetically engineer twenty super-human warriors known as the Primarchs, His sons.  Created to be the most powerful warriors in the galaxy and virtually immortal, the Primarchs were swept mysteriously away before leaving infancy and deposited on remote, deadly planets.  There they grew to dominance amongst the local populations.
     Having appeared to have failed at His task, the Emperor used left-over genetic material from the Primarchs to create the Space Marines and set about re-conquering the galaxy.  Almost immortal themselves, the Space Marines were created for no other purpose than war.  Gathered into twenty Legions ten-thousand strong, one for each Primarch, they were armed and armored with the very best of equipment.  As they expanded outward, the Emperor was reunited with the long lost sons.  After several hundred years of fighting, the most beloved and trusted son, Warmaster Horus, sold his soul to the Chaos gods and betrayed the Emperor, beginning what is now known as the Horus Heresy.  Fully half of the Primarchs and their Legions followed him in worship of the Chaos gods.  As the followers of Horus closed in on the Emperor's palace on Terra, the Emperor teleported to Horus' ship and, in hand to hand combat, slew his favorite son.  Mortally wounded himself, the Emperor was placed in stasis upon the Golden Throne, yet his powerful psychic abilities were not diminished in any way.
     Worshiped as a living god even before the Heresy, worship of the Emperor is now mandatory.  It is the 41st Millennium.  The Imperium of Man is spread across the galaxy, with Holy Terra being the seat of power. Humanity is beset on all sides by aliens, by mutants, and worshipers of the dark gods of Chaos.


Terms:
     PDF- Planetary Defence Force.  Basically like the National Guard here in the States.
     Arbites (Are-BITE-ease)- local police forces.  Think Judge Dredd, only with out the judging rights, only arrests.
     Astartes (a-START-ease)- Space Marines. Grouped into 1000 man strong Chapters.
     Commissars- attached to military groups as a political and morale officer.  Granted the right to punish and/or execute any who they find lacking in respect, duty, or following the Emperor.  Judge Dredd, with judging rights.

     Ministorum- organization of the Imperium overseeing the worship of the Emperor.  Think the Vatican.
     Administratum- organization of the Imperium overseeing the daily tasks.  The administrators, quill pushers, etc.
     Imperial Guard-standard army type.
     Inquisition-much like the people in the Spanish Inquisition, able to do basically anything they want to ferret out heretics.  Much like the SS in Nazi Germany

    
Aliens
     Tyranids-race of beings the equivalent of locusts. Each planet they destroy makes them stronger, bigger, and better.
     Eldar- space Elves
     Dark Eldar- space Elves, corrupted by Chaos
     Necrons- skeletal beings of metal that can re-form themselves.  Think combination of Terminator 1 and 2.
     Tau-humanoids that have a rigid caste system based on Nature. Fire-warriors. Earth-builders. Water-ambassadors and diplomats. Air-pilots
     Orks- big, tough humanoids whose DNA is partially fungal. can have an arm chopped off in battle, reach down and pick it up, and beat the one that chopped it off to death with it.
     Daemons-demons of Chaos


I will add to this list, I'm sure, in later blogs.  But this gives you the general idea of the setting and peoples of the Warhammer 40k realm.

Music review: The Puppet Master--King Diamond

    For my first CD review, I'm going to do a CD by King Diamond.  If you don't know who King Diamond is, I'm not going to give his entire illustrious career; you can go to http://www.covenworldwide.org  for that.

     King Diamond is the consummate horror story writer and teller, probably one of the best since H.P. Lovecraft.  Few writers have made me squirm and shudder like they do.  In an interview at http://metalisrael.com/2005/10/48/exclusive-king-diamond-interview-part-1/, King Diamond states that he writes all of the lyrics and most of the music for his albums.  His primary focus in his solo career seem to be concept album: CDs that tell a story and each song is a part of that story...much like an opera.
     His lyrics are splendidly written, and with such a detail that leaves no doubt as to what's going on in the story.  The songs and the whole story that the songs tell wouldn't be out of place on a dark and stormy night when the power goes out.
     This brings us to the album to be reviewed: The Puppet Master.  The setting is in Budapest in the 18th Century.  The first song, Midnight, gives a hint of what's to come.  The main character is reflecting on what has happened.  Something about a cellar, a show...and blood.
     Now, I'm not going to go song by song detailing what the story is about as some reviewers might.  There are plenty of places online where you can find the lyrics and get the story that way.  To me, it takes a lot out of the story if I do that.  I'd much rather hear the story with the music.  However, I will tell you that the main premise of the album is that the story is coming from the point of view of a puppet that's been given eternal life.
     Darkly melodic seems to be the standard for all King Diamond albums, and this is certainly no exception.  With the addition of Livia Zita singing on three of the songs, it brings an even deeper harmony to what's normally just King singing.  In fact, she plays the part of his love on the album, Victoria.  King Diamond has such a vocal range that he probably could have been an opera singer if he tried just a little.  True, some of the high notes that were prevalent on the album Abigail just aren't here on The Puppet Master, but the addition of Livia more than makes up for it.
     All in all, The Puppet Master is my favorite King Diamond album.  Rich in story, melody and harmony, this album really has a depth that's missing in most music today.  He has a passion about his music that, while most artists try to match it, few actually make it.
     My rating: 9 feathers out of 10